NYU - Harvard - Brandeis

Domashnee zadanie

Tema: Mi vse ychilis' po nemnogy

(Pod rock myziky poyavlyautsya rokeri)
 

Rokeri:

        U teh komy za sorok bityet mnenie

        Chto sovsem oshizelo nashe pokolenie
 
        O materi Gor'kogo nam ne izvestno
 
        Nam mama Tereza i mama Odessa
 
        Pyst' svoi banan zhyet Mayakovskii
 
        Nas vozbyzhdaet Petr Chaikovskii
 
        Serdzy mila Ibaryri Dolores
 
        Nashi kymiri - Nissan i Ford Torys



(Vbegayut reporteri)


Pervii reporter: Dva slova dlya gazeti "Novoe Rysskoe slovo".

Vtoroi reporter: I zhurnala "Starie Evreiskie Mansi".

Pervii Reporter: Molodezh', kakie vashi plani na bydyshee?

Rokeri: Ychitsya, ychitsya i ychitsya.

Reporteri: To est'?

Rokeri: Ny ne rabotat', ne rabotat' i ne rabotat'.

Pervii Reporter: Kak vi otnosites' k tomy chto kyrs
 
dollara v Rossii sostovlyaet $5000 za 1 rybl'?

Roker: Chto v Rossii, vot u nas v NYU $5000 za 1 kyrs!

Rokersha: Shytka lozh da v nei namek a seichas nam na urok.



		
Urok genetiki

Uchitel': Good evening boys and girls. Dobrii den' rokeri-yrokeri. Segodnya y nas
genetika. Kto mne mozhet skazat' chto bydet esli soedenit' X i X?
Roker: 2X!
Uchitel': Nepravil'no bydet zhenshina. A esli soedenit' X i Y?
Rokersha: Neprelichnoe slovo polychaetsya, professor!
Roker: Da net, bydet myzhchina.
Uchitel': Chto v prinzipe odno i tozhe.
Roker: Professor, ya slihal chto v Izraile skrestili ishaka i cactus.
Uchitel': V Izraile i skrestili! S vami vse yasno, yrok zakonchen, ne zabydte sdelat'
domashnee zadanie.
Roker: A mi po vashemy chto seichas delaem - Myzikal'nii konkyrs?

		
Urok Prirodovedeniya

(pod myziky poyavlyaetsya ychitel'-golyb' i poet, dve devyshki izobrazhayut pamyatniki)
 
		Pesnya Golybya


	Est' statyi iz mramora klassicheskih voyatelei

	Chto s list'yami opavshimi vdol' parkovih allei

	A mne milei granitnie - Marksizma osnovatelei

	Na ih blestyashih lisinah nam golybyam teplei


	Proidys' po Lomonosovy, Derzhavina poradyu

	I s Pyshkinim v Mihailovskom ya posezhy v teni

	Potom vzlechy na Gogolya, na Lermontova syady ya

	K kyl'tyrnomy naslediyu vlekyt menya oni

	
	Tysyus' ya na Lenine, flertyu ya na Staline

	I na oboih statuyah ya svoi ostavlyu sled

	I bydet pokolenie mne ochen' blagodarnoe

	Ostalis' lish familii a liz yzh bol'she net


	I grystno Lomonosovy, Derzhavin opechalennii

	I Pyshkin chto v Mihailovskom krychinitsya v teni

	I nety bol'she Gogolya, i Lermontov v otchayan'e

	Kyl'tyrnoe nasledie ostavil ya na nih


	        
Urok NVP (Nachal'no Voennoi Podgotovki)

(Pod voennii marsh vihodyat 4 stydenta i praporshik)


Praporshik: Rovnyais', smirno.  Nachinaem yrok NVP - Ny vi

i popalis', ha, ha ,ha.

Voennie zagadki. Ryadovoi Zho.., Zho.., Zhonson!

Kyrsant: Yes, Sir!

Praporshik: Vi v okryzhenii 3 chernih, chto proisxodit?

Kyrsant: Ya zhertva ogrableniya, sir!

Praporshik: Ryadovoi Quicker Picker Thicker Upper!

Kyrsant: Zovite menya prosto Baunti, Sir!

Praporshik: Vi v okryzhenii 5 chernih, bol'shih i zdorovih.

Chto proishodit?

Kyrsant: Ya zhertva ogrableniya?

Praporshik: Vi trener basketbol'noi komandi.

Kyrsant: Shytki y vas kakie to rassistskie, sir!

Praporshik: Konechno rassistskie, ya zhe s rossii.

A kto eto tam vipendrivaetsya.  Kak familiya?

Kyrsant: Kyrsant Trahtenberg, sir!

Praporshik: Trahtenberg? Slyshai a eto ne ti bil sinom polka
 
v 123ei raketo-podzhigatel'noi divizii?

Kyrsant: Eto togda ya bil sinom polka a seichas ya - Son of the

Brighton beach.

Praporshik: Da mi stvoim dedom Brest brali.  Kak seichas
 
pomnyu zahozhy ya k kapitany v blindazh i dokladivayu:

"Tovarish' kapitan Brest vzyat!"

Kyrsanti: Breast!!!!

Praporshik: Eto chto to vrode vashei operazii "Shit v pystine".
 
Rota rovnyais', pesnyu zapevai!



        Pesnya Smyglyanka-Moldovanka
 
	   (Angliiskii Variant)


        In the morning in the garden

        Looking out for pretty babes

        I saw lady from Moldova

        She was busy picking grapes

        I am flashing, I am blushing

        All of the sudden I want to say

        Come sit by the river

        Counting stars all night away.


        Don't cry my baby

        Proidyt dozhdi

        The soldier will be back

        You only zhdi....



(Pod myziky kyrsanti othodyat, poyavlyaetsya madam, vibiraet
kyrsanta i nachinaet s nim tanzevat')

             Pesnya madam

	(Pod "Zdravstvyite ya vasha tetya")


        Lyubov' i nezhnost' navsegda

        Menya poimali v seti

        Ya ne zabydy nikogda

        Zhizn' v universitete

        No eto bilo tak davno

        Seichas myzhchini stranni

        Sposobni tol'ko na kino

        I rzhyt kak obez'yani!



Madam: Myzhchinam zhenshin ne ponyat'
       Myzhchini hyzhe chem stihiya
       A zhenshin lychshe raspoznat'
       Pomozhet nam kylinariya

(Pod "Tanez s sablyami" vibegayut devochki s doscheckami)


Madam: Ya pomnyu zhenshin oshyshen'e

       S Editoi P'ehoi teplotoi
 
       S Edit Piaf prikosnaven'em

       S Lorenoi Bobbit ostrotoi!


(Devochki vtikayut nozh v doschechki)


Madam: Lorenoi mozhesh ti ne bit'

       No svoi diplom imet' obyazan


         Stih ob Amerikanskom Diplome 
            (pod Mayakovskogo)

        Po dlinnomy holly naemnih agenstv
        Ya bryuki kostyumnie dvigayu
        Smotryu dostayut, i ya dostayu
        Diplom otshtampovannii figoyu

        K diplomam odnim - rot do yshei,
        K drygim - rot yzhe s kislim vidom
        S pochten'em glyadyat na diplom koreshei
        S Brandeisovskim mahendavidom

        Diplom MIT idet bez zatei,
        S soboi prinosya kysok hleba
        Naemnik verbyet naivnih detei
        I sylit im manny iz neba

        Na Garvard glyadyat kak na Hilari Bill,
        Zybami lyazgaya po varvarski
        Na vse ostal'nie naemnik zabil
        Kogda pered nim diplom Garvardskii

        Gawaiskii - vipyalivayut glaza,
        Naemniky nado podrobnosti
        Kakoi eto college i chto eto za
        Geograficheskie novosti

        Diplom Boston collega - roznya ymy,
        Glyadat na nego lish s otchyain'em
        Glyadat kak Gerasim glyadel na Mymy
        S prisyshim holodnim molchaniem

        Ya lonami vigriz diplom NYU
        Teper' y menya deneg nety
        Raboty ishy v byrzhyaznom rayu
        Svoyu zapolnyaya ankety

        Ya smelo naemniky syny v pritik
        Svoi diplom chto dostal s togo sveta
        Chitaite, zavidyite ya vipysknik
        New Yorkskogo Universiteta!


        	     Final'naya Pesnya
 
		   (Pod "I will survive")


        Shkol'nii pyt' proshli mi s vami v etot szhatii srok

        No k konzy podhodit nash stydencheskii yrok

        Na szene mi v poslednii raz

        Konez finala ne dalek

        I vsem nam grystno ved' seichas

        Zvychit nash vipysknoi zvonok


        Mi vse ychilis' po nemnogy ved' ychen'e svet

        Stydentom bil kogda to doctor, lawyer i poet

        No zhizn' zovet s soboi vpered

        Pora i nam derzhat' otvet

        No mi zapomnim etot zal i etot den' na mnogo let


        Mi vse zhivem odnoi mechtoi

        Chtob sobiratsya inogda i v KBH igrat' poroi

        Ved' KBH nash obshii dom

        I v nem mi veselo zhivem

        Mi zdes' ychilis' i segodnya zashitili svoi diplom


        Segodnya mi vipyskniki

        I vperedi y nas dorogi bezgranichno daleki

        No pered tem kak sdelat' shag

        Tyda gde mnogo peremen

        Davai prisyadem dlya good luck

        I skazhem - thank you KBH


        Mi vse zhivem odnoi mechtoi

        Chtob sobiratsya inogda i v KBH igrat' poroi

        Ved' KBH nash obshii dom

        I v nem mi veselo zhivem

        Mi zdes' ychilis' i segodnya zashitili svoi diplom!










Otzivi bolel'shikov